


In loving Memory

by Joseph_Nightjar



Series: In Loving Memory [1]
Category: inFAMOUS (Video Game), inFAMOUS: Second Son
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Incest, M/M, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-13
Updated: 2014-09-13
Packaged: 2018-02-17 06:56:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2300564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Joseph_Nightjar/pseuds/Joseph_Nightjar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>We wanted more, but we never did. Thank you, society.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In loving Memory

**Author's Note:**

> So, this story was a commission for my good friend Ani ^^  
> I really hope you like the story!!

As I finished the last bits of my artwork, I already knew how this day was going to end.

My brother died, so I wanted a memorial for him - and I am sure that this was one of the best things I ever did. No, it was the best. Because it revealed the loveliest, finest and most outstanding person I’ve ever known…

“This is to you, brother. I am… so… proud of you… And I miss you… so much…”

I couldn’t care less about the tears running down my face as I looked at the graffiti again, for this was not even enough to display the slightest amount of the loss I felt inside me. There’d never been someone I loved as much as I loved Reggie, and I knew there would never be one again. But it was okay. Everything would be fine, and if there really was something beyond death, it wouldn’t take long until I saw him again.

Reluctantly I looked away from my artwork and got my stuff together, before I headed back ‘home’. In fact there was nothing I considered as home anymore, so I just brought all the stuff I needed upon a rooftop, where no one would find me, at least not tonight.

As I headed back there, I still couldn’t manage to stop crying. I’ve never felt so much pain inside me and I’d give anything to make it stop forever. Reggie wouldn’t come back to me, and as long I was missing him, the pain would still be there, still a part of my life which took my will to carry on.

Back home, I grabbed the bottle of whiskey and a package of cigarettes I bought earlier, lit up the very first cigarette I was ever smoking in my life and took a deep breath.

“Hell, this is disgusting…”, I coughed immediately and took another deep breath, for I really wanted to feel high as fuck before I died. After a few more drags I could already feel my legs going numb and smiled.

“This is really working… How can someone even start smoking? I feel like shit, Reggie… But maybe I won’t feel any pain when I die. I mean, you know this is going to be quite hard, fast healing powers and stuff, I’m sure you remember those… But I found a way, I guess. No one can live forever, and no one could survive falling from a skyscraper… Not even the most powerful conduit like me. At least I hope so.”

Of course I knew that Reggie was not gonna hear me, but I liked pretending he was still on the phone talking to me. I just wished he could answer…

With already trembling hands, I lit up the second cigarette and opened the whiskey bottle, to drink a few sips. Actually, I never really drank much, but hey, it was my last day on earth, so fuck it.

“Reggie… You know I never wanted to be a bad person, but it is my fault. You told me not to trust him, you told me. And it is my fault you’re dead now. Did I ever tell you, really tell you that… that I loved you, Reggie? I always loved you, and I still do, dammit!” I screamed. I screamed as loud as I could, not giving a fuck about anyone hearing me. I wanted to scream the pain away, but it just grew stronger with every second I was waiting. God, I missed him so much…

After I stopped screaming I lit up another cigarette and drank a few more sips, for it somehow eased the pain or just made me a little number…

“You know what the worst thing is? I feel so guilty… Not only because I let you die but… but because I never told you how much I loved you. It was more than I should have felt, Reggie… I know it is wrong, I know you are my brother but… You also know that there was more. You also felt it, I knew that. We both knew… And we… when I was lying in your arms, I felt so secure. I wanted more, we both wanted, but we were just lying there because we both knew it wasn’t allowed and no one would accept it… Oh Reggie… I just want you to know that I don’t give a fuck anymore. I love you, Reggie…”

Judge me, I don’t give a fuck. Let me burn in hell for this, but I always just wanted him to hold me tight, to kiss me hard and to scream my name, while he was fucking me senseless. But we never did any of this. We were just lying around, holding each others hands or cuddling, talking to each other… We wanted more, but we never did. Thank you, society.

And now Reggie was dead. I wanted to tell him so badly, but there would never be a chance to do so…

I was sitting around crying for a little longer, smoking one cigarette after another and emptied the bottle of whiskey, before I finally had enough courage to do what I wanted. You know, suicide wasn’t easy… But sometimes, it was necessary.

“Reggie… I’m coming, bro! I’ll be with ya… `n a few secs…”

Hell, I was drunk and I felt high, but the pain was still there. As I walked towards the abyss, I was still scared, but it didn’t really matter anymore. I just wanted to be with Reggie…

For a few seconds I just stood there and looked down, imagining how it would be to fall, as I realized that I already knew. I fell down there a lot of times, but I always used my powers to break my fall… Now it was the time to change that last thing…

“I’m coming, bro…”

“DELSIN, NO!!”

What the hell…? I was chuckling a little, because that sounded like… Reggie… Reggie? As I was turning around, I saw him standing on the rooftop with an expression of horror on his face. Was he really there? No, I was just drunk…

“Haaa! You almost got me, Reg! I saw you die… And now I’m so fucking drunk that I see you standing right in front of me…” I wanted to stay calm, but I could feel myself shivering and tears running down my face again. Why… Why was this happening? Was I going to get mad now? Am I already?

“I miss you so much, Reg…”, I told him and blinked a few times, but he was still there, still with me.

“Fucking shit, Del, come down! I am here! I am here, and I am alive! Delsin, please! Don’t do this!”

“But I saw you dying! I can’t live without you! I don’t want to!”

“You just saw me falling, but I survived! Del, I am here! Come down and I’ll explain everything to you! Come to me, Del…”

I saw him standing there, holding his arms wide open to welcome me with an embrace, but I was too scared to come down, too scared that he would just vanish again if I got too close…

“I can’t lose you again, Reggie… You are not real! Stop doing this to me!”, I was crying and screaming and shivering, for I still wasn’t sure if Reggie was real or not, but I didn’t had enough time to think about it any longer. The next second I lost my balance and then I was falling, looking down at the ground that came closer really fast.

“DELSIN!!!”

Fuck. I felt sober now, hearing Reggies voice screaming my name…

“Fucking… Stop...Stop….STOP!!” I wanted to use my powers, but I was too scared, to confused, too everything to do so. I felt pain again, huge pain overwhelming my entire body, but this time it came from my broken bones, from my blood dripping down on the ground, but nevertheless, I was still alive…

“Reggie…”, I whispered one last time, looking into some shocked persons face, kneeling in front of me, probably because he was just curious to see someone dying, felt some blood running down my arms and legs and looked up into the sky. I wanted to stay alive, wanted to see Reggie on more time, but everything went darker and darker the longer I tried to stay awake…

“Can you… tell… Reggie… I love… him…?” And then everything went black for a very long time…

 

Surprisingly, my eyes opened again when it was dark mid-night, only the moonlight brightening up the room, so I could at least see a few edges of furniture… This room looked so familiar, but it felt like I didn’t see it in years…

What happened?

I couldn’t feel pain… I...I was still alive? Had all of this been nothing but a dream? With a little dizziness in my head I finally got up, immediately walking over to the door where I assumed a lightswitch. And it was there…

However, what I saw when I turned on the lights almost made me faint again. I was in Reggies bedroom and everything looked exactly like we had left it back then when we moved to Seattle… What happened…?!

Confused and disoriented I opened the door and walked down the staircase to the kitchen and living room… Was he there? Was he still alive?

“Reggie…?”, I asked cautious as I could hear something that seemed to be a TV show and almost froze in shock as someone got up and ran over, wrapping his arms around me.

“Oh thank god, Delsin… Thank god…”

“Reggie… Are you… how… how are you still… how… God, Reggie!”

I just started crying again, as I tightly wrapped my arms around him. This was too much… I thought I’d never see him again, I thought I… And now he was here with me, in his living room, holding me close and letting me cry on his shoulder, as if he was never gone…

“I missed you so much, Reggie… I missed you…” I knew my voice sounded pathetic, but I didn’t care. He was pulling me a little closer and I could feel his tears running down my shirt.

“Shhh… Don’t cry… Reg, no need to… hey, I’m here, love… I’m here…” I couldn’t help it, but every time I saw him crying I just had to stop and comfort him. It was the worst for me to know he was sad and I couldn’t do anything against it.

“I… I thought I lost you…”, he muttered into my shirt and I could feel tears running down my face again.

“I thought the same about you… Reggie, what happened?”, I started and pulled him over to the couch with me, where we both sat down and just looked into each others eyes a long time, for probably none of us couldn’t realize that we were both still alive.

As he finally started to talk, I wasn’t sure what to expect, so I grabbed his hand and holding it with both of mine.

“Well, I was almost sure to be dead as I realized that Augustine… She had given me those powers, although I’m almost sure she didn’t mean to do so… I got rid of those stones somehow… And the next thing I remembered was waking up in a hospital… Well, and I just ran away, wanted to call you but I didn’t have my phone anymore. I didn’t know what to do, but somehow you choose the perfect place for your graffiti. It is beautiful, Delsin… I just knew you would be up there somewhere… And when I finally found you… Oh Delsin, how could you do that? Why… Why did you want to die?”

I could feel his arms wrapped around me again and returned the embrace, pulling him as close as I could. So he also was a conduit now… We both are…

“I wanted to die because I wanted to see you again…”, I replied to his question and couldn’t help but chuckling a little…

“But we both survived… I’m so glad. I thought I was never gonna see you again…”, I admitted and looked up to him again. There was something in his eyes, this little something he always had when he looked at me…

“Can we just stop pretending now?”, I finally managed to ask after a long time and conjured a smile on his face.

“Stop pretending what?”

“Stop pretending we are just brothers…”

Now it was Reggie who chuckled, but it was more of insecureness then of joy.

“We have never been just brothers, right? There was always a little more…”, he replied and I just nodded.

“You know it is wrong.”

“I don’t care, Reggie… I cared for such a long time, but I thought you were dead and I would have killed myself just to be with you again. Just to tell you… Just to tell you that I love you.”

For a moment there was silence between us. And then I closed my eyes as I could feel his lips gently kissing mine. Finally. Finally I felt complete… We just sat there kissing for a while, I still held his hands in mine, gently stroking them, as if this was the very first time kissing someone… I didn’t care he was my brother, for he was nothing more than the one and only person I really, truly loved with all of my heart.

 


End file.
